Perturbed

Have I mentioned I haven't had a cigarette in five weeks?

Mmm... nicotine gum. It's not bad but I can only fit nine pieces in my mouth at a time.

I'd pay good money if the makers of Nicorette and the makers of Hubba-Bubba could get together and have a baby: a sugary slab of gum the size of a matchbox with a 12-smoke dose. A single sleeve of gum would be the size of an iPad.

Not that I miss smoking or anything crazy like that.

Is there such a thing as organic tobacco? I'd hang in the field all day like a junkie cow frantically chewin' my nico-cud. Make angry moo sounds if anyone got too close my stash.

That can't be as bad for you as smoking. Can it?

Organic. Nuff said.

(Remind me to trademark "Nico-cud". And check domain usage.)

I quit every year with varying results. Though now that I think about it, the result has actually been pretty consistent: failure. I think my record is nine months. This time, I'm tracking my financial savings and poking them away in an account. It'll be interesting to see how much I can squirrel away before I eventually cave by the end of the year.

Thank god for Nicorette.

MOOO!